Excessive flattering stage
This is the first stage of encounter between the woman and the man. The man shows interest in the woman and offers a drink as in the case of Bryan and Katherine. The woman, even though not comfortable with the offer, consents just to be courteous. The man translates this as a good gesture and makes several other offers including persistent phone calls. Even though the woman is not interested in these offers, the man translates the womans niceness for receptivity.
The annoying stage
This is the stage that follows the excessive flattering stage. The man makes several proposals and even though the woman objects, he does not want to take no for an answer. For instance, the man may ask the woman several times to go out with him. As much as he receives the same negative feedbacks, he hopes that the woman will someday give in. this persistence on his part may be an act of manliness while on the womans part, it is nuisance.
The control stage
The woman may opt to take action during the annoying stage. This action may be either to give in to the demands of the stalker or ignore him. The former option may leads to control stage where the man make demands that the woman is uncomfortable with but nevertheless consents. For instance, he may be so possessive to the extent that he feels jealous whenever the woman is hanging out with other friends. Because his strategy all along ha been to persist in his demands, he will continue doing so to the extent that the freedom of the woman will be in jeopardy.
The isolation stage
The woman is thus left with two choices, either she quits the relationship and live her normal life or make sacrifices for the sake of their relationship. If she chooses the latter, then she enters into the isolation stage where she is distanced from her friends. This stage however never lasts since there is likely to be pressure from those close to the woman who realizes that she is not happy. As such, this stage invariably results in the final stage.
The break-up stage
This is the stage in which the woman cannot take it any more and decides to quit being good and stay firm in her convictions. She informs the man that she is quitting the relationship because the man is making too many demands that she is not comfortable with. It is during this stage that the woman proposes break up. This may either success or the cycle may repeat beginning from the second stage.
Legal definition of stalking
Stalking is defined as a course of conduct which results in credible threat or serious bodily harm. As such, it may be seen as any direct or indirect act that is likely to result in harm to another person.
b. Types of Stalking
There are two major types of stalking. These are stalking by someone known to the victim and stalking by a stranger. Stalking by someone known to the offender is the most common form of stalking since there is a high likelihood of a stalker being a rejected suitor. Stalking by a stranger is on the other hand reported to be rare (de Becker, 1997).
c. Causes of stalking
One of the main causes of stalking is the pursuit of romance. One may feel strongly attracted to another person to the extent that simply cannot accept no for an answer. As such, they seem to persist in their quest hoping that the woman or man will consent someday.
A broken relationship may also result in stalking as the other partner may not come to terms with the reality of rejection. As such, he or she main stalk without being aware of it hoping that his or her gone partner will ultimately relent.
Strategies That De Becker Provides For Dealing with Stalkers
According to Becker, the simplest strategy of dealing with stalkers is to say no. Even though he acknowledges that it is not as simple as it may sound, given the deep cultural roots of the nomaybe hybrid, Becker holds that cases of stalking will reduce considerably if the culture supported and allowed women to explicitly reject and say no (de Becker, 1997 ). Becker appear to argue that if victims could stand firm and say no, then the offender may as well desist from the behavior.
Becker also says that women should not offer any explanation as to why they have rejected an offer to go out with the particular individual. As such, it is inappropriate for a woman to base her rejection on conditions. This only provides the man a reason to challenge the rejection. Conditional rejections are not rejections but discussions according to Becker.
Another strategy that Becker provides for dealing with stalkers who make persistent phone calls and send constant messages is to ignore such moves. Becker holds that communicating with someone who had been earlier rejected contradicts the initial position. This is because the man can choose the kind of communication which communicates the feeling of the woman which is of course those that serve his interest (de Backer, 1997). The messages that are normally left are meant to stir response and any response is conceived of as progress.
Becker also advice that there is need for a female friend to record outgoing messages since the man may call just to hear the voice of his object. He warns that a man voice is likely to lead to more stalking since the curiosity of the pursuer may result in more investigation.
4. Handling of Stalking cases involving Johnny Carson and Jim Hicklin
The stalking case involving Johnny Carson and Jim Hicklin were both not handled correctly. Both the stalkers would have been ignored since ignoring them would not have resulted in any injury. In the case of Johnny Carson, the stalker got what he wanted and it may not be known how many instances he has employed a similar strategy to get what he wants. In the case of Hicklin, it would have been wise to ignore the stalker since engaging him was likely to lead to more direct harm as was witnessed. As such, there is no justification for the way the two cases were handled.
This is the first stage of encounter between the woman and the man. The man shows interest in the woman and offers a drink as in the case of Bryan and Katherine. The woman, even though not comfortable with the offer, consents just to be courteous. The man translates this as a good gesture and makes several other offers including persistent phone calls. Even though the woman is not interested in these offers, the man translates the womans niceness for receptivity.
The annoying stage
This is the stage that follows the excessive flattering stage. The man makes several proposals and even though the woman objects, he does not want to take no for an answer. For instance, the man may ask the woman several times to go out with him. As much as he receives the same negative feedbacks, he hopes that the woman will someday give in. this persistence on his part may be an act of manliness while on the womans part, it is nuisance.
The control stage
The woman may opt to take action during the annoying stage. This action may be either to give in to the demands of the stalker or ignore him. The former option may leads to control stage where the man make demands that the woman is uncomfortable with but nevertheless consents. For instance, he may be so possessive to the extent that he feels jealous whenever the woman is hanging out with other friends. Because his strategy all along ha been to persist in his demands, he will continue doing so to the extent that the freedom of the woman will be in jeopardy.
The isolation stage
The woman is thus left with two choices, either she quits the relationship and live her normal life or make sacrifices for the sake of their relationship. If she chooses the latter, then she enters into the isolation stage where she is distanced from her friends. This stage however never lasts since there is likely to be pressure from those close to the woman who realizes that she is not happy. As such, this stage invariably results in the final stage.
The break-up stage
This is the stage in which the woman cannot take it any more and decides to quit being good and stay firm in her convictions. She informs the man that she is quitting the relationship because the man is making too many demands that she is not comfortable with. It is during this stage that the woman proposes break up. This may either success or the cycle may repeat beginning from the second stage.
Legal definition of stalking
Stalking is defined as a course of conduct which results in credible threat or serious bodily harm. As such, it may be seen as any direct or indirect act that is likely to result in harm to another person.
b. Types of Stalking
There are two major types of stalking. These are stalking by someone known to the victim and stalking by a stranger. Stalking by someone known to the offender is the most common form of stalking since there is a high likelihood of a stalker being a rejected suitor. Stalking by a stranger is on the other hand reported to be rare (de Becker, 1997).
c. Causes of stalking
One of the main causes of stalking is the pursuit of romance. One may feel strongly attracted to another person to the extent that simply cannot accept no for an answer. As such, they seem to persist in their quest hoping that the woman or man will consent someday.
A broken relationship may also result in stalking as the other partner may not come to terms with the reality of rejection. As such, he or she main stalk without being aware of it hoping that his or her gone partner will ultimately relent.
Strategies That De Becker Provides For Dealing with Stalkers
According to Becker, the simplest strategy of dealing with stalkers is to say no. Even though he acknowledges that it is not as simple as it may sound, given the deep cultural roots of the nomaybe hybrid, Becker holds that cases of stalking will reduce considerably if the culture supported and allowed women to explicitly reject and say no (de Becker, 1997 ). Becker appear to argue that if victims could stand firm and say no, then the offender may as well desist from the behavior.
Becker also says that women should not offer any explanation as to why they have rejected an offer to go out with the particular individual. As such, it is inappropriate for a woman to base her rejection on conditions. This only provides the man a reason to challenge the rejection. Conditional rejections are not rejections but discussions according to Becker.
Another strategy that Becker provides for dealing with stalkers who make persistent phone calls and send constant messages is to ignore such moves. Becker holds that communicating with someone who had been earlier rejected contradicts the initial position. This is because the man can choose the kind of communication which communicates the feeling of the woman which is of course those that serve his interest (de Backer, 1997). The messages that are normally left are meant to stir response and any response is conceived of as progress.
Becker also advice that there is need for a female friend to record outgoing messages since the man may call just to hear the voice of his object. He warns that a man voice is likely to lead to more stalking since the curiosity of the pursuer may result in more investigation.
4. Handling of Stalking cases involving Johnny Carson and Jim Hicklin
The stalking case involving Johnny Carson and Jim Hicklin were both not handled correctly. Both the stalkers would have been ignored since ignoring them would not have resulted in any injury. In the case of Johnny Carson, the stalker got what he wanted and it may not be known how many instances he has employed a similar strategy to get what he wants. In the case of Hicklin, it would have been wise to ignore the stalker since engaging him was likely to lead to more direct harm as was witnessed. As such, there is no justification for the way the two cases were handled.
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